on singleness.


Hi beauties! I am so excited (and a teensy bit nervous) to share what is on my heart today. My words are meant to love you, challenge you, and speak life and truth over you regardless of the shiny situation (or lack thereof) on your left ring finger. I hope all relationship statuses take a moment to read and digest. I am going to write first to single women. And then to married women. So two letters in one. Like buy none, get both free. The best kind a deal if you ask me! (ß that rhymed)

 

Dear Single Women,

I see you. I see what an amazing gift to the world you are and how God has fashioned you with unique perspective. Your gifts are necessary to God’s kingdom.

Whether you are single by choice, single and patiently praying for a relationship, single and unsure if a relationship is in your future, single and wondering if you are worthy of relationship, single and desperately longing for someone to do life with, single because of divorce, single because of tragedy, single because you bravely walked away from abuse, single at 22, 35, 56, or 70 years old, or single because of any in-between reason, thank you for being here. Thank you for reading.

I have heard many of the same things you have heard throughout your singleness experience. You and I probably do not have the exact same singleness journey. We’ve had different life experiences and there are things that might bother me that may be comforting to you. Or vice versa. But, I do know that we have probably encountered some advice-giving voices in our life that have made us feel unworthy, unprepared, or confused about our satisfaction in Jesus. We have been offered various explanations for why we are single and when our singleness will end.

I know how badly those well-meaning advice givers’ words sting. I am intimately familiar with the stomach in my throat feeling of “not enoughness” that gets communicated through their meant-to-encourage-but-does-the-opposite words. I have spent many years debunking lies about my identity, questioning how I can do better or get better prepared for a relationship in order to follow the advice of those who have not walked in my shoes. It is painful, much of it is untrue, and I am here to ask you to continue to believe what is true about you AND to have compassion on those who have unintentionally spoken these faulty concepts over you. They did not mean to. I can promise you that.

For those of you who feel called to marriage or feel called to something that has not yet come - I believe you. Trust His calling on your life. I know what it feels like to be longing for God to hastily make a way for His calling to come to fruition, but have it feel like He’s holding out on you. I promise you He is not. He does not hold back good gifts from His children.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. Oh Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!

Psalm 84:11-12

It is a grueling task to wait for the fulfillment of a calling in your life. It takes grit. God asks us to be faithful in our waiting, so let’s encourage one another in that. Let’s speak life into our dreams, let’s believe each other when we speak life to that still small voice that whispered calling deep within us. That is freaking vulnerable to verbalize, so let’s not squash each other when we share. On this side of Heaven, there will never be a “ready”